By this point, after all of the accolades that it has received on 2025 best book lists, you’ve probably heard of Fredrik Backman’s most recent novel, My Friends. Hopefully, you’ve read it. If you haven’t, please do.
“Maria, you have to read it,” one of my friends texted me last summer.
I searched for it in local bookstores, but it was sold out. The library copies had a long waiting list. And suddenly, a new text appeared: “The book will be at your door tomorrow!”
My friend who lives in Atlanta took a few minutes out of her busy, regularly scheduled life to order me a copy.
I devoured the book within a few days. I dog-eared many pages. I sent her a picture of myself having a good cry. She knew this was a book I needed to immediately read.
Within the last 20 pages, a minor character shares some maternal insight: “Because art is a fragile magic, just like love, and that’s humanity’s only defense against death. That we create and paint and dance and fall in love, that’s our rebellion against eternity. Everything beautiful is a shield” (Backman 417).
I am not here to write (any) more glowing words about a book. Instead, I am here to remind you about the gift of friendship.
Friendship is “a fragile magic” and “a shield.”
When you finally make it out of the group chat for a moms’ night out or girls’ trip, it feels like a magical spell has been cast. You laugh. You dress how you want. Your body relaxes. You go on an adventure.
When you are breaking down for whatever reason, all you need to do is open your phone. Your fellow heroes magically appear, ready to build you back up. Your battle is their battle, and they will armor your every emotion.
As a middle-aged (yikes, did I really write that?) millennial, I have an assortment of labels that my friends wear. There are my oldest friends whom I’ve known since childhood. There are my high school friends, college friends, and work friends. There are friends that I acquired through my husband. And, of course, there is the ever-expanding collection of friends that we’ve made in our town through our kids’ schools and activities.
Of course, I have varying degrees of closeness with each of these friends. However, I could pinpoint a moment with any of “my friends” that brought forth feelings of calm, protection, understanding, comfort, joy, and truth.
If I’m your friend, you’ve received countless poems in your Instagram messages. Some of my most popularly shared are by Megan Minutillo, Raquel Franco, Kate Baer, Hannah Rosenberg, Jess Janz, Rachel Beachy, Danielle Coffyn, Jess Urlichs, and Lyndsay Rush.
If you’re one of my best friends, you’ve received a physical book from me, one that captures some piece of how I’d like you to know I see you. If I can’t be next to you, at least a part of me will be there as you flip through the pages. You are “my friend,” and I love you, just as I know you love me.
