I have wonderful memories from Girl Scout camp when I was little of singing,
“Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver
And the other’s gold”
I didn’t realize at the time how much those words would ring true now. I recently read an article about the importance of children having different circles of friends, and I couldn’t agree more. The concept is that by allowing and encouraging your child to explore other interests and activities, you are setting them up for success by creating different friend groups. This way, they are not putting all of their eggs in one basket, and if they have a falling out with one group of friends, they have others to lean on.
Turns out it’s pretty good advice into adulthood, too.
Being left out is inevitable, and I would love to say that I’ve outgrown it, but I haven’t. It still feels yucky. Every time. Whether it’s intentional or not.
I am at the age where I have started needing reading glasses, and I still experience it from time to time. But I feel it significantly more when it happens to my kids and even worse, when they experience it as an extension of me. So if I’m not on the group text or email, they are not invited by default, and they are sure to hear about it through their friend grapevine.
But the magic of having multiple friend groups is that when the occasional exclusion or falling out happens, it doesn’t sting quite as much when one group is not your whole world.
It’s also a gentle reminder that some friends become forever, and some friends you outgrow, and that’s ok. There’s always room for new friends, and there are occasions where it may be time to walk away.
I have been blessed with friends from all different phases and geographic locations of my life thus far. There is such comfort in having friends who knew me when, and also a beauty in making friends who meet me where I am right now in my life.
And though I’m all for quality over quantity, I love the richness of having different friends to share in all the different interests and phases in my life.
I want the same for my kids. Especially as they grow up and leave elementary school. Middle school is where the drama really begins, and I am grateful that they have already started forming different friend groups through their involvement in various sports and activities.
This also has the added benefit of exposing them to friends with all different perspectives, increasing open-mindedness and making them ultimately more accepting of differences.
