One thing any mother will tell you is that the postpartum period is not just six weeks, with a check-up at the end, and you’re good to go. If only! The transition to motherhood is a gradual process with challenges that can alter a woman’s body over the months – and even years.
In the 1970s, a word was finally coined by Anthropologist Dana Raphael to describe the transformation. With psychological, biological, and social changes, some women report feeling complete personality changes. In 2008, the term was reinvented by psychologist Aurelie Athan, who took an interest in just how much a woman’s personality changes.
Before becoming a parent, with an interest in anthropology, I was familiar with the topic. But it wasn’t until I became a mother that I understood just how much this shift can be. This blog is part love letter, part journal, marking the moment.
I’m in my matrescence era, and four years in, I’m only just starting to really see the changes in myself and recognize how drastic they have been.
In Western cultures, we are very good at celebrating the child on birthdays and baby showers, but we often overlook the mother. The celebration of becoming something entirely new is less recognized.
Matrescence is more than just the baby’s arrival or birthdays; it’s an entirely new identity and the powerful realization that you’re likely never going back to the person you once were.
As I’ve reflected on myself and my personality lately, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I’m a different person. At first, I bought into the idea that maybe we just ‘lose ourselves’ in motherhood. You put yourself last and forget your interests, but as I come out of that ‘baby’ stage for the second time with my youngest turning one, I realize now that I’ve become even more complex and layered.
I never really lost myself; instead, it’s just a matter of taking some time to figure out the new me. In anthropology, this is often referred to as liminality, the in-between stage as you transition. It can be a long transition period, and it’s not something that six weeks, three postpartum visits, and 38 reheated coffees can fix.
As I rebuild, reframe, and reconnect with the world, and dive into the latest version of myself, I’m rethinking my capabilities and don’t feel as though there are any limitations to what that may look like.
