I was a fat kid.
I was a fat teenager. I fluctuated a bit in college, but ultimately ended up as a fat adult.
Then I had weight loss surgery, became a weird, obsessive runner, and am living my size 6/8 life.
Parenting through this lens, through the lens of someone who struggled with weight their whole life, can be a total mind-freak, especially when your kids are getting to the age where you worry about weight and body size.
Because not only am I the former fat kid parent, I am also the breakfast and dinner maker. I am the lunch packer. I am the grocery shopper and main activity planner. My relationship with food, even though my body is smaller, will never heal and is never truly healthy.
So how the heck am I supposed to raise kids with healthy bodies and healthy foods?
When they were little, it was easier—formula, pouches, puffs, and whole foods. There was only so much variety, and fat little cannoli legs and cheeks were encouraged and adorable. Now that they’re both school age, it’s different.
I try to ensure that their plates have a protein, a carb, and a fruit and/or a vegetable every day. We don’t drink juice or soda at home, and we limit fast food. I put them in activities that keep their bodies moving and try to set an example for fitness. I still worry that it’s not enough.
There’s the nagging fear that as they get older, they’ll end up the fat kid in school, like I was. For me, it started in the 3rd and 4th grades. As a parent of a 3rd grader, I am very much aware of that this year. In a culture that accepts different body types and promotes “health at any size,” I know this may be a controversial stance.
The truth is, it’s hard growing up fat.
It’s hard being a fat teenager, and it’s hard being a fat adult. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t able to live a full and happy life so far. I got married, started a career, and had my kids before I lost weight. But would those things have been different and maybe easier if I weren’t heavy? Undoubtedly.
So now I am trying to find that balance as a parent. Between being honest about size and how it affects your life and your health, and being supportive and accepting, no matter how my children continue to grow. For now, I will continue to model and serve food that supports healthy growth, provide opportunities for exercise, and also be realistic about the world.
