They say parenting is the hardest job you will ever sign up for. Right from the beginning, you are thrown into caring for someone around the clock, making difficult decisions, and establishing boundaries. You often figure it out as you go and find what works for your child, your family, and yourself. I get that fatigue can easily set in.
But please, oh please, for everyone’s sake, don’t be the overly permissive parent.
Don’t sit on the sidelines while your child hits other kids, makes deliberate messes, and talks back to adults. Please don’t get so wrapped up in conversation with other adults that you completely forget to check in on your child from time to time to make sure they are behaving with some civility. Please don’t leave it up to other parents to discipline your child. Don’t let your kid be the one to ruin all the fun.
I get that parenting is hard. Sometimes, you must leave a party while having fun because your child isn’t behaving. Often, you have to follow through on consequences (no screen time, no dessert, no play date) when it would be so much easier to forgive and forget. Many times, you will have to enforce rules for your family that are not popular with the kids in the family.
It can often seem SO MUCH EASIER to say yes to avoid a tantrum. Sure, have another cookie (when you know they’ve already had three). Sure, watch my iPhone while crossing the street (even though this isn’t safe). Sure, you can watch one more show (even though you haven’t done your homework yet).
There are many hard parts to parenting, and one of them, by far, is saying “no.” But trust me, if you don’t set boundaries while your kids are young, it certainly isn’t going to get any easier.
I look around at the middle and high schoolers and all the problems with social media, texting, and gaming. I wonder who’s calling the shots around here. Why are parents so afraid to say no, especially when saying no would ultimately help their kids be safer and happier in the long run?
Our kids need us for a long time. I’m not a hover parent and value independent play and decision-making for my kids. I know they will make mistakes. But I also know that they need boundaries to push against. They will think they know what’s best, and often they will be wrong. I will always be there to help them when needed, but a huge part of parenting is helping to set them up for success. If that means I have to be the “mean parent” sometimes, so be it.
And you know what would make everyone’s job easier? If you weren’t afraid to be “mean” sometimes, too.
We’re all in this parenting job together. I’m calling out to parents to work together for a healthier, happier, safer environment for ALL our kids. We can do this!
