The Divorced Mom’s Diary: Dating a Dad

I never wanted to date a single dad. I figured it would make things too complicated. I’m an older mom and already have three kids, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to add any more potential kids to the mix of my crazy life.

But dating after divorce is already crazy.

Returning to a world I hadn’t been in for over fifteen years is scary. When I created my online dating profile almost a year into my separation, the algorithm (knowing I was a single mom) automatically matched me with mostly single dads.

When I chatted with some of them, I changed my perspective about the possibility of dating a dad. Dads understood the challenges of parenting; they understood when I needed to be with my kids and when I needed a break from them. They understood what co-parenting was. They understood that they were never going to come first in my life. Dads knew how to be flexible with their time and scheduling. They could think of people other than themselves.

Suddenly, I went from not wanting to date a single dad to only wanting to date a single dad.

Even though my goal after my divorce was to enter the dating world for fun, not for forever, I only ended up going out on two first dates.

The first day I was on the dating app, a guy messaged me. About five minutes into our conversation, I knew I wanted to meet this person.

However, scheduling the first date was a challenge because of the kids.

The only day that worked was a Thursday night after 7 p.m. After a few hiccups about where to meet, I parked my car at a coffee shop and walked up to a very attractive but very nervous-looking man with whom I immediately felt a connection. It was nothing like anything I had felt before (or since).

I hardly remember what we talked about that night, but two hours flew by, and all I knew was that I wanted to see him again. He was quiet and shy, so I didn’t know if he felt that same immediate connection I felt. It turns out he did, and after we each got home, we continued to text late into the night.

I had conquered my fear of stepping back into the dating world.

I was pleasantly surprised at how well it started, but also a little confused about making a connection so quickly. I knew my connection to this person was strong, but I also didn’t want to do a disservice to myself and not do what I set out to do after my divorce, which was to date.

So I continued to do that. He was fully aware that I was dating other people and was also fully supportive of it.

The dating world is a funny place. There are some definite weirdos out there. I’m glad the first guy I met wasn’t one of them.