I’m Thankful My Marriage Fell Apart


A woman running with her arms stretched out on the beach at sunset. When I got married, I was apprehensive, but I never thought I’d actually ever get divorced. There were always issues, but there was never anything that couldn’t get swept under the rug until the next time it came up and turned into a huge blowout.

Everyone tells you marriage is hard, so I thought this was the hard part everyone talked about. And that hard stuff just happened every single day. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. All the “sweeping it under the rug” finally caught up with us about eleven years in, and there was no turning back.

The decision to divorce wasn’t taken lightly, and even though I was painfully unhappy, I fought it tooth and nail.

I didn’t know anything different. I didn’t know there was life outside of my marriage. I didn’t think I could be happy with my life and excited to get up and start my day every day.

I was uncomfortable. I was sad. I was angry. I was resentful. I was incredibly depressed, and I felt like a complete failure.

It took me a long time to figure out how I could do it on my own. But once I did, I was completely set free. I realized I could be alone, and even though I took all the time I needed to do that, I realized I didn’t want to be.

I’m not alone anymore. I look back on my life over the past two years and am thankful for it. If my marriage hadn’t fallen apart, I wouldn’t be experiencing what being in love actually feels like. I wouldn’t have a person in my life who loves me, adores me, challenges me, pushes me to think, nudges me out of my comfort zone, and encourages me to be the most authentic version of myself every single day.

I know it might sound strange, but I’m thankful my marriage fell apart. Through all of it, I found myself.

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Charity is a newly-single mom of three with a son born in 2012 and identical twin daughters born in 2017. She lives in Monroe and has been writing for Fairfield County Mom since 2019. Charity is a full-time speech-language pathologist, working with patients all across the lifespan. She is also an intuitive medium. In her life before children, Charity was a professional stage manager, working in theatres throughout Fairfield County. Charity is passionate about her family, career, ballet (which she began at 39 years old!), musical theatre, and her amazingly-supportive friends as she begins a new chapter in her life. She firmly believes that you are never too old to stay stuck in a situation that is causing you pain. You can follow her on Instagram at @charityferris.


  1. Great article Charity! We find our best selves when we give ourselves the time, attention, and respect we deserve. Everyone’s journey with divorce is different but I believe we hope that the outcome can somehow be a learning and valuable experience for us in the end. That’s how we can move forward with a richer life.


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