Christmas has never been my favorite holiday, even as a child. Sure, I enjoyed the traditions, getting gifts, and celebrating with my family, but it always felt like there should be some other feeling of joy that never quite hit.
As the eldest daughter and a millennial, I probably took on much of the stress of not wanting to put anyone out. That “I can do it on my own and make it so perfect without the help of anyone else” mentality that has plagued my entire life and caused several panic attacks in adulthood surely ruined the holidays for me.
This is difficult to admit, but once I became a mother, specifically a mother to two children under two, I despised the holidays even more. I know this is because I felt I was doing everything to appease others. My children would be miserable, off their schedules for naps, bedtime, and meals, all because we had to run off to a variety of places, unable to enjoy ourselves because we knew what the aftermath would be.
It wasn’t until a few years ago, when my parents sold their home, my mom gave me many of her, and my grandmother’s fun decorations, and my kids were a bit older, that I started to change my tune. I began to do Christmas the way I wanted to.
I go above and beyond with my decorations because it makes me happy. I put up four Christmas trees and started collecting decorative trees. I buy a few yearly to add to my collection; my mom always buys me one every December. Every weekend, we watch a holiday movie as a family. We have a running list of favorites.
I started a collection of fun Christmas mugs and beganenjoyedday-themed cocktails on December 1. I buy my kids everything on their Christmas lists, we have multiple Advent calendars, three scout elves show up at our home, and we visit as many Santas and other characters like the Grinch as we possibly can.
I know I am a lot at Christmastime, but I don’t care. I enjoy the Christmas season now.
Given what I know now, the advice I would give my younger mom self and other moms feeling the pressure this holiday season is, do you! I know, believe me, it is easier said than done. The reality is that most people and anyone who truly cares about you will respect boundaries.
