As a psychotherapist specializing in working with moms, one area we often focus on in session is identifying and setting boundaries, particularly during the holiday season.
Moms: We plan, we juggle, we buy, we wrap, we run around in circles. We give and give and give and give. Over time, this can lead to feeling burnt out, tired, irritable, unhappy, and sometimes resentful. Increased stress can affect our sleep, weaken our immune system, and leave us more susceptible to illness.
Here are some tips to help you create boundaries and channel your energy and (precious) time into the things that truly matter to you.
1. Ask Yourself: “What is important to me this holiday season?”
What is your priority? What do you look forward to most? Is it spending time with family or friends? Is it slowing down and being present? Think about what is important to you and write it down. Go back to this when you are making plans. It’s easy to lose sight of this amid all the hustle and bustle.
2. Pick and Choose
It is easy to over-book during the holiday season. All the parties, activities, and celebrations can be a lot. Ask yourself: “Is this in alignment with my priorities and what is important to me this holiday season”? If it isn’t, is it worth your time and energy? Ask yourself: Will this fill up my cup or leave me feeling drained? It is okay to pass on an invitation and say “no.”
3. Find a Happy Medium that Works for You and Your Family.
Maybe there is an event you cannot get out of due to an obligation or to avoid upsetting others. Is there a way you can make it work more for your family? If a party starts when your baby is supposed to nap, show up to the party a little late. Or maybe you have family come to your house instead, so that the kids can have their toys and naps are not disrupted.
Maybe you are feeling pulled by both sides of the family to visit on a particular holiday. Instead of trying to do it all, switch each year where you spend it. One side this year. The other side next year. Or perhaps you divide up all holidays among the sides and do that each year.
4. Delegate and Outsource
Look at your to-do list. Are there things you can delegate to someone else? A family member or a spouse? Are there any tasks on your to-do list you can outsource or buy instead of doing yourself?
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