Kindness is my superpower. It comes very naturally to me. It’s a no-brainer.
I was blessed to be raised by parents who always led with kindness and were not just kind to me but to other family members, friends, neighbors, and strangers. It was always modeled for me, and for that I am so grateful.
I also try to model this for my own children. And while it’s important to be polite, it’s also important to understand the difference between kindness and niceness.
Kindness comes from the heart. True kindness is genuine and requires no audience. Niceness can often come from a more superficial place or a desire to people-please.
Niceness is biting your tongue. Kindness is opening your heart.
Extending kindness fills your heart and fosters connection. Niceness often requires you to hold back on expressing yourself, leaving you feeling empty and resentful.
Kindness is authentic, niceness can be performative.
Kindness to yourself and others makes room for healthy boundaries and mutually satisfying friendships and relationships. Whereas niceness often comes from a desire to be liked or to stay small, worrying about other people’s expectations and reactions can lead to surface-level interactions.
Kindness will never ask you to betray yourself.
So while being friendly and having a pleasant demeanor is always appreciated, I have found that I much prefer kindness over niceness. And I have also learned how to lose the niceness.
I no longer dim my own light to make anyone else feel better. I have found that the brighter I keep my own light, the more I can help illuminate the paths of others.
I have found my voice, and I use it, with kindness, of course.
But I will no longer defer to nice instead of speaking up for myself or others. I have gotten stronger at setting boundaries and reevaluating situations that no longer serve me, rather than sticking it out just to be nice.
And while I do not walk around spewing hate or snapping at people regularly, please do not call me nice. I’ll stick to kind. And most importantly, please do not mistake my kindness for weakness.
