4:35 a.m., my alarm goes off.
I don’t necessarily enjoy waking up before the sun, and the birds, and before the paper delivery man, but I do it. I am a morning person by nature, so as long as I actually get out of my bed, I am ready to start the day.
My teeth get brushed, my leggings and sports bra are donned, and I am filling up my oversized water bottle. By 5:05, I am out the door, sneakers in hand, headed to the gym.
By 6:15, I have sweated, lifted, and raised my heart rate into zones 2-5, and I feel like I could collapse from exhaustion. My knees are a little sore, and my muscles are tight from the previous day’s workout. My sense of accomplishment washes over me, and I head out the door for a shower and to start the next phase of my day.
And yet, after months of this routine, the scale is still unmoved. Welcome to fitness in your 40s.
I have gone to the doctor for my yearly visits and shared that I am doing everything right, yet I have not seen the results I dream about.
All the grams of protein, ounces of water, daily steps, hours of sleep, fiber in every meal, and lifting heavy weights, so as a woman, I can stay strong and protect my bones as I age. And yet, I am seeing no change on the scale.
“It’s your hormones, it’s just your 40s, your metabolism is slowing down.”
Great, now what?!
I am actively trying to recalibrate my mindset away from my pants size and the number on the scale toward how strong I feel, how much energy I have during the day, and how well I sleep at night.
The shift from chasing a smaller body to chasing a stronger one is something I actively have to work on mentally, emotionally, and physically. Going from “How do I lose weight?” to “How do I feel my best in my body at this time of my life?” is the new mindset I am after.
Some days, though, I still crave the quick results. I want it to be as simple as calories in versus calories out, and to go back to a time when I did not have to work so hard for results. But then I take a second and look at the bigger picture.
I am getting stronger.
I can now do more pushups in a row than I could three months ago. I am going for the heavier dumbbells at the gym and successfully lifting them. The classes that felt impossible when I started this journey are still really hard, but I feel less like I am going to perish at the end than I used to.
I am also showing my three young daughters that strength is the goal. Moving my body and fueling it with good food allows me to show up as the best version of myself, with energy to keep up with them, and a more stable mood throughout the day.
Despite my frustrations with the scale that won’t move, the early alarms, and the never-ending laundry of gym clothes, I am going to keep showing up.
I am going to keep showing up for myself, even on the days that I don’t want to.
I am going to keep getting my protein and fiber in and taking my creatine. I may need to stretch a bit more, but I will keep getting my steps, sleep, and water.
For me, in my 40s, this season is no longer about shrinking. It is about strengthening. I am going to support my body instead of fighting it, and continue working to figure out what works best for me and the stage of life I am in.
So tomorrow, when my alarm goes off at 4:35 for another day, I will contemplate my life choices for 10 seconds, then get up because that is what I do, for me.
