As we embark upon another year, the in and out lists are everywhere. Some are serious, and some are satire. Here is my list for the new year: what we can keep and what we’re leaving behind.
IN:
Shelton. Hear me out. Shelton is so hot right now. Not just because I live there, but it helps. While previously we were the valley trash cousin to the other Fairfield County towns, we have some cool stuff now. Did you hear we’re getting a Trader Joe’s? Also, our taxes are low.
Having nothing to do on the weekends. My husband and I work full time, and my kids are in school full time. We live our family lives between 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. on weekdays and our precious weekends. Often, the weekends get loaded up with sports and birthday parties. Now and then, we get a glorious weekend day where we can hang out, do errands, ride bikes, or watch a movie. This year, we want more of that. More saying no, more unstructured weekend time.
Outfit repeating. I love a statement piece. Something irresponsible. However, you better wear that irresponsible statement piece a few times a year instead of once and then donate it to a landfill. Fast fashion and one-time wears are out. Wearing the same clothes for years and investing in quality over quantity is definitely in. I wear about three, maybe four pairs of shoes, not including running sneakers. You don’t really need more!
Parenting according to your kids, not the internet. If I watch enough IG reels, everything I am doing with my kids is wrong. Everything is causing them anxiety and poor attachment. While the basics are true for all kids, every kid is different. My children cannot and will not be gentle parented. My kids also don’t respond well to time-outs. We take things away, and yes, we yell. It works for us. Like every adult has their eccentricities, so do our children, and we can’t put them in a box.
Judging. Another hear me out. Not all over social media, not to be malicious, but over an espresso martini with some girlfriends. Did someone name their kid something absolutely insane? I want to hear about it. Did your chaotic co-worker give us something to talk about? Yes. Was Kelly being too much? We’re just exchanging notes. This doesn’t make me “not a girl’s girl.” It makes me normal. A voice memo that starts with “…can I be mean for a second” gives me the sort of serotonin boost that a first sip of a McDonald’s diet Coke gives. Normalize that.
OUT:
Pretending that driving 20 minutes to get somewhere is a hike. Fairfield and Westport, I am looking at you. While having shops and amenities in town is nice, driving 20-30 minutes to get somewhere is no big deal. We’re spoiled in CT with how close everything is. My husband is from Texas, and we can drive 45 minutes and still be in San Antonio. It’s just different! So when I tell you that we’re going out to dinner in New Haven, it’s ok. It’s just 25 minutes (and time to park, sorry).
Hard Seltzers. I might get some hate for this, but we need to stop it with the hard Seltzers. They don’t taste good. No, I haven’t tried the *insert flavor and brand.* I don’t need to. It will taste like a le Croix with a weird alcohol aftertaste. If you want something fruity and low ABV, try a fruit-based beer. If you want something in a can, wine can come in a can. Next year, can we try something different?
Smartphones for young kids. Was this really ever in? Smartphones can expose kids to more than just distraction. The internet is a dark place. A popular book called The Anxious Generation is a must-read that looks at technology and social media as major players in some issues facing children today. There’s a campaign to wait until at least 8th grade to give a child a smartphone, and it’s a wonderful place to start.
FOMO. This year, we stop the comparison game. We don’t feel anxious about not having a toy rotation. We won’t worry about the local influencer’s top choices for summer vacation spots. We absolutely will not be taking medical advice from Facebook mom groups. We won’t worry about what other people are doing. This year, we enjoy missing out and focusing on our families—the end.
